Lately I have expressed a few lightning bolts that have increased my self awareness. Most of these profoundly life changing. But some have just been subtle memories come to light, in a gentle reminding way that has smoothed out the edges of the others.
Today at my kitchen sink as I washed my dishes I allowed myself to remember some of the positive things about previous relationships. Like the time I was on the back of a motorcycle going 100 mph feeling the wind in my face and the beauty of the fall foliage. Like the time I watched snow fall gently onto a deck as a bottle of wine chilled outside for later. Or laying on a soft rug, listening to rainfall through a screen door as my partner snored quietly beside me. Or walking through the mountains together on a summers eve. And another time seeing my partner gazing at me through a window, adoring me silently and smiling without words.
Yes, over the years there have been many positive times with my relationships, despite whatever they became. And while I am in this process of banishing those men from my memory for good for my own sanity and in order to move forward, I wanted to take some time to re visit the good times as well.
It is good to remember that no matter what happened, there was a time when I once loved each of them, when things were good and special moments occurred that I treasured. I am still trying to find a way to keep the good and forget the bad.
Just my thoughts for the day…