Today’s “I got this” Moment..

Right..so, another Dear Diary post…

After this weekends debacle and feeling way stressed and overwhelmed yesterday, i woke up with severe anxiety today. I mainly thought i would accomplish nothing other than pacing around doing everything i could to get it under control. I did my usual- took an Ativan, ate something, switched from coffee to water after 2 cups, took a long hot bath, read a few blogs and then waited patiently to go to my chiropractor appointment. I figured that would help somewhat.

While i was pacing around my mind was in a state of mulling over how in the world i was going to find a therapist.After all, i didn’t feel comfortable asking on facebook, nor did i feel good about asking any of the multiple people i know who regularly post about their therapy. After all, some have been going for years and are still a hot mess so i have very little confidence in any references they could give me. So, naturally i looked online.

I soon realized that before i could do anything i also had to call my benefits department to see what was covered, and if i needed a referral from my doctor. Oy! I loathe making phone calls more than any other task in the world including scrubbing the toilet.It’s always a matter of 1. getting up early enough to reach someone before the office closes…2. getting through a long menu tree, being transferred a dozen times, and several disconnects requiring me to start all over and 3. the process usually entails about 2 hours and because i don’t have a bluetooth i am tethered to my phone the whole time. More anxiety.

I started trying to think of any and all other ways to get a word of mouth referral and decided to ask my chiropractor. She is wonderful about that stuff and always knows someone who does just about anything. She gave me the name of someone i did vaguely know in the community and i sent her a message online. I believe she is mainly a life coach /natural healer type though so not sure if she takes insurance. But the description i got of her work sounds promising.Hopefully she responds .

So, I DID actually do something.

Once that was done i felt much better. In fact, by the time my BF was on his break ( we chat for a few minutes at that time) i was in a pretty great mood. It’s been many years since i’ve even considered – really considered- going to a therapist. I’ve only ever come close one other time, except for when it was mandatory ( child custody stuff) and as a teen ( also child custody stuff) and i backed out due to having no insurance coverage and a limited income. So i am quite pleased i have followed through this time- at least taken that first step.

I am not really sure exactly what a :life coach: will have to offer , but i am willing to check it out. If that fails i will have to go through the other steps of locating one who takes insurance and who knows? a more structured course of treatment may be what i need. But we shall see.

Namaste.

Author:

nurse, mother, artist, and chameleon ...

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