Dear Diary

I had a really rough weekend. It started out great and had lots of fun with my roommate. But then drama with my BF ensued and i am really off kilter at the moment.

It all came out of nowhere and was so unexpected i am still in shock and having a tough time processing. I cannot seem to do anything but the basics to function and mostly after getting those done, just staying in my room and sleeping as much as possible.

It still astonishes me that i can feel these things so deeply . I thought i was stronger and wiser, but finding out how fragile i can be when i am hurt. It is all i can do to eat , bathe , and go to work. I don’t want to talk with anyone or interact. I can’t do my art or even watch videos.

I haven’t felt this way in a very long time and certainly not this intensely.

If/once i am able to regroup, i will be back.



nurse, mother, artist, and chameleon ...

11 thoughts on “Dear Diary

  1. Darkness is your candle.

    Enough Words?
    How does a part of the world leave the world?
    How can wetness leave water?

    Don’t try to put out a fire
    by throwing on more fire!
    Don’t wash a wound with blood!

    No matter how fast you run,
    your shadow more than keeps up.
    Sometimes, it’s in front!

    Only full, overhead sun
    diminishes your shadow.

    But that shadow has been serving you!
    What hurts you, blesses you.
    Darkness is your candle.
    Your boundaries are your quest.

    I can’t explain this, but it would break
    the glass cover over your heart,
    and there’s no fixing that…

    – Rumi

    This poem cheers me up a bit when I’m feeling down, but I don’t know if it has that effect on anyone else. Anyways… cheers to you the least fragile person I “know,” who is though still human. 🍵

    Liked by 1 person

    1. it is strange i never heard that poem before and it drew me right in..thank does help..we onions have many layers – some are tough and some , not so tough…but i believe it’s the very nature of it’s structure is what makes the onion so hardy….hugs!


  2. Sorry to hear your experiencing painful turbulence, nothing like relationships to trigger us. There’s a part of you that is completely fine despite this, remember to breath from your diaphragm and put your hand on your heart and send love and compassion to the part that’s hurting. Love and a hug from Scotland xx

    Liked by 1 person

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