Wow. Where do i begin? It’s been a bit since i posted but i haven’t been able to get focused enough to put all of the words and thoughts together. i will try.
If you live in the U.S. you know whats been going on here. Our last few months have been a nightmare. Dealing with this pandemic and the politics have truly been crazy. Our leaders fighting amongst themselves on all levels- federal, state & local. People confused and angry, economy in a state of uncertainty. But for those of you not in this country let’s add in the latest factor. A murder of another innocent black male by a police officer.
Personally, i know very little about ongoing issues of racism in other countries. I know it exists, and i have skimmed articles off and on over the years. So i don’t make blanket statements about worldwide situations regarding this. But our country has been a hot bed which it continues to boil over, time and time again. Mainly , it is a matter of “white” verses “non-white” .
I have no desire to get into statistics as there is plenty of online stat sites for it. But, in general, i believe that the U.S. stands near the top of the chart when it comes to crimes committed against non-whites by whites beginning with the treatment of our Native Americans and the importing and enslavement of Blacks. There are many other instances of racism here, of course, but these two stand out the most in our minds. The effects of them are multi-generational and run deep.
With this most recent incident, the protests began, as they have with similar events along with the inevitable rioting, burning of buildings and mass looting . It has spread from the initial community where the incident happened to the rest of the nation with continued outrage , destruction, and aggression. Online, there has been almost nothing else but heated discussions about the brutality of our police force, the unresolved racism issues and the continued destruction, which has affected multiple businesses , neighborhoods and innocent persons.
All of this is happening during an election year and amidst a worldwide pandemic. It is utter chaos, and it is scary. I personally stand solidly on the side of those affected by such racism, but i certainly do not condone the crime and violence that comes from the reactions . I do not believe any sane person would wish to see innocent people suffering and i do not believe additional crime should be used in retaliation. But the reality is, this is war. Plain and simple. And in war, these things do happen.And sadly, that the time of peaceful resolution has long passed here on this issue.
I believe part of the problem is that because our nation has been a super power for so long, most have not truly seen warfare up close and in person , especially within the confines of our borders in their life time. The civil war ended in 1865. Since then, most of our military has been involved in wars outside of the country. And, outside of the military, most citizens have watched wars solely via the news on TV and online. It is tough to accept that destruction of property and other horrible crimes always go along with it and can happen this close to home. No one really wants to acknowledge it as “war”.
With all of it going on, it is almost impossible to lead normal lives here. With every passing day, there seems to be another crisis to deal with- emotionally, mentally and otherwise. As much as i try ( and i am sure others struggle with this as well) i still have been unable to “get my shit together”.
In addition to this , my family , work, and financial issues have also grown. As a result, i have succumbed to smoking more often than i should and spending many days doing only what i cannot avoid to keep functioning. There has been no consistency externally and thus, none internally. I continue praying that things will get better.
Rest assured that I haven’t given up on myself or my goals. I still have not bought any cigarettes myself ( bumming off my roomie) or descended into any alcohol relapses.My bills are getting paid, and i am healthy overall. At this time, it is all i can manage.
So here’s to the Future….and some sense of normalcy returning.