Well 2021 is about at it’s end. It’s time to start thinking about the things we want for the next one. Have you all started your list?
This is my end of the year post. But it is also a confession.
Two years ago I lost something. Something very important to me-through a series of unfortunate events and miscommunications.I don’t talk about it very much and when i do i keep it in house. It was personal and deeply hurtful, and i don’t believe i have recovered as of yet.
A lot of people who knew me previously may wonder where i have been and why i no longer socialize. I have been mainly isolating, and conveniently, the pandemic helped with that, if nothing else.Too, many who see my posts here and on social media may wonder , but probably don’t care, why i have done a 180. Thats fine, this matters to me.
I am no longer am out in the mix. I am no longer the artsy party girl or social butterfly. I am no longer the free spirited bohemian hippy .Those days are over.I have been diligently re inventing myself.It’s a process, not an overnight venture. I am an artist still, to be sure. And i am also a weightlifter. These have been crucial to the recovery of that loss.The loss of confidence, self esteem and courage.
This year I will continue this journey, and because of this i feel a need to reinstate my mission.
It may be that you just want some of the simple things, nothing overly much- no dramatic changes or life altering decisions. Some no longer make resolutions, except the one not to make any! I did that for a few years because most of the time we start out with a fury and the flame dies in a few weeks. It seemed pointless. But in recent years i have resurrected my desire to make some so here goes:
- This is the year i want to set personal boundaries on many things i have let slide in the past. It’s one reason , the biggest one, that i set up and Etsy shop. I will no longer hold items indefinitely for someone who wants to use cash or check. I just do not have the time to waste waiting around for stuff that isnt guaranteed or losing sales because of it. That’s just one example.I will say NO to many things, and yes to others more befitting what i want for my life.
- I want to continue my weightlifting journey. Slow and steady wins the race, and in spite of still rehabbing my shoulder injury, i know that healing will come and i will progress if i stay the course.
- I have given up counting my macros for awhile since i know pretty much how my body handles them and what ratios i need daily. No need to over obsess on them daily until if and when i decide to compete.
- I no longer show my art just for the sake of showing it. It is not a ‘hobby’ for me but a form of therapy and something i am driven to do – whether i sell or don’t sell.It matters greatly to me that i improve and become the best i can be in my lifetime.
- I want to continue paying off debt and making those goals happen. I succeeded in paying off the amounts i chose for a credit card and savings so far and getting electrical work done. Best i can say is i will keep moving forward as planned with the other ones.
- This is the year i want to settle in to what i feel is an approximate idea of what i want my life to look like down the road ( in all areas). I have been pretty lax in some things and up and down on others, but being 55 in February, i need some kind of stability plan so that i wont be miserable later.
- And this final one- no more alcohol. I have been up and down with this one this past year. I did drink a little, and hadn’t decided if i wanted to continue that way because i honestly haven’t craved it and have been fine going long periods without it this year.However, the last 2 times ( Halloween and Christmas) i just wound up getting sick and not even enjoying myself. So, definitely time to put that to rest for good. Too old for the shenanigans and it has proven to be a waste of time and energy.
I hope you all have a very happy holiday season and i am looking forward to interacting with all of you in the New Year!