Today is a little over a month of sobriety -which i am grateful for. I almost believe that recent events have, in their own way, been a positive in this aspect. With everything that has occurred, i haven’t had too much trouble staying away from the booze . It may be out of fear , but whatever works at this point.
In the past few days i have had a lot of positive support and am utterly grateful for it. Most of my life i have been someone who rarely asks for help. I may vent or complain but have always been able to pick myself back up , put my big girl pants on and forge ahead . Which brings me to the reason for all of that:
“The human condition is all of the characteristics and key events that compose the essentials of human existence, including birth, growth, emotion, aspiration, conflict, and mortality. This is a very broad topic which has been and continues to be pondered and analyzed from many perspectives, including those of religion, philosophy, history, art, literature, anthropology, psychology, and biology.”- wikipedia
This is the essence of my blog here, and from what i have seen, is common across the board. We come here to our safe space to express ourselves, and , hopefully- work out some of our inner conflict.
For me, blogging has been a much more private way of doing just that as opposed to formats such as Facebook, Instagram , etc. Those platforms just seem to be a place to create conflict, and invite unwanted advice or negative comments from those who aren’t working on themselves ( but feel inclined to project onto others instead).
Person posts:”i am struggling to stay sober and make my life better. I am grateful for all the support”
Commenter #1: ” You should stop complaining. I used to drink and i got sober. People who use alcohol are basically losers who don’t know how to deal with life”
Commenter #2: “Just go to AA. It helped me and i know it can help you.”
Commenter #3: ” Everyone struggles- you are not special. And by the way, posting it is just a way to get attention”
and so on ( or worse!).
Yes, i have seen this kind of thing. And it applies to many areas , not just sobriety. Some friends have issues with mental health, others with parenting, or finances. There are many struggling with isolation and physical health issues. And yet others have underlying esteem issues. Sometimes even i am bothered by constant posts about depression , or roll my eyes at todays 10th selfie, or feel like someone is simply trying to get attention–yet i refrain from making their life or situation worse by responding negatively. Usually, i send hugs and prayers or make an encouraging comment. One days when i, myself, am struggling and cannot be positive, i say nothing. However, many have no such restraint.
I have no interest in being pummeled or put down for being human nor do i have a need to make others feel bad about being human by being snarky, sarcastic or downright nasty. In that regard- “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”. I believe if we all would just take a moment to re read the above definition ( and emphasize the word HUMAN) it would serve to remind us that we are not Gods. We are all struggling with something or many things. Be patient. Be kind. Be water.
I am grateful to read everyones expressions of humanity and encourage anyone struggling to find a space to work the struggles out – whether it be here, another blog, a journal, facebook, talking to a close friend, writing poetry, or simply talking into a recording device. Whatever works for YOU. But don’t feel you have to face it alone. Give others the privilege and opportunity to be there for you.
We all struggle and deal with things differently.But the one thing we still have in common is our humanity. and i, for one, am grateful as hell to those who don’t hide their vulnerabilities. Hugs and Love…