Off the Menu

Posted on by Lovie Price

So, guess what? I met someone.

After staying single for over a year and making sure not to fall for any men who do not have my best interests in mind- something i have done in the past because i was pretty vulnerable and tended to over look obvious red flags- i am hopeful , and a little giddy- but still staying alert. Love during recovery is a tricky thing.

Once i decided to become sober , i watched all the classic movies about sobriety, read all the literature and committed to taking on year minimum to find my self without all of the booze clouding my judgement or using it to cover my own issues( or theirs). It was a wise decision.I got my financial ducks n a row, bought a house of my own, and feel a renewed sense of value and self esteem. It didn’t happen over night.

During that year, many men vied for my attention , mostly online. I almost fell back into an old pattern . I was not used to being alone and i was going through some pretty serious esteem issues. But, one by one i was able to avoid bad decisions. Sure, i was lonely, and at times almost talked myself into things, but i am so glad i waited and prayed – ALOT.

I know not everyone reading here is religious.And i realize that it won’t resonate with everyone. But my daily prayer was just this “God, please send me the right person when you feel the time is right. I will wait. Please give me a sign so that i know because i want your will and not my own. I will not push, and i will not accept less. I will wait -for you and your will for me”.

And i believe ( hope) he has answered.

The most amazing and unique person showed up out of the blue. Someone i would never have otherwise noticed or believed i would be with. An odd ball , like me…Being a skeptic, i let him in , willing to be friends first and see how it went getting to know him through long walks, etc.Eventually he came over to spend the evening painting with me and there was definite chemistry. Something i haven’t felt in years. Everything went perfectly. He passed every test.

While it’s too soon to be sure, i am just very excited. I finally feel that my head is clear enough and that i am in the right space to make better decisions. None of that would have happened if i hadnt given up my weekly binges, and gotten my life straightened out.

So , for anyone out there who feels alone( for any reason), who is struggling with alcohol or any addiction, and/or wondering if you will ever find love again- be patient. Try to be vigilant not only with your mindset but your choices. Watch for and do not ignore red flags. And be upfront about what you do and don’t want from the onset.

I believe there is someone for everyone. My fingers are crossed,and i still feel a bit hesitant , but my spirit is finally lifting a little..

Namaste.

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nurse, hiker, artist, and chameleon ...

18 thoughts on “Off the Menu”

  4. That’s so heartening! Love it. I had/have a huge fear of intimacy, actually, so drinking allowed me to avoid NOT going there with anyone, for decades, really. When I got sober, I was terrified of going deep into any relationship, and it took me years to trust my current partner. I am so glad for you; so happy what sobriety has allowed… Hugs!

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  5. YAY I am so happy for you 🙂 Also, thank you for this golden advice we should ALL follow: “Watch for and do not ignore red flags. And be upfront about what you do and don’t want from the onset”. So much of your post resonated with me: I used to be exactly the same when I drank. I don’t think I’ve ever really been in a happy relationship with a “healthy” person. Sobriety helped me see that and make peace with loneliness and with myself. Sending the best hopes for your future adventure, no matter how it unfolds ! xxx Anne (Ps. Which movie(s) about sobriety do you recommend? I’ve read quit lit but never watched a quit movie!) ❤

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    1. hmm.. i guess the usual suspects- “clean & Sober” was pretty intense,”when a Man Loves a Woman”, “28 Days” , “My Name is Bill W”..so many..there’s a series on Hulu called “mom”..but also just googling it there are many lists online:)

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