I often post on here about achieving goals, staying disciplined and having a plan. I put a lot of credence in being prepared, writing stuff down and keeping my eyes on the prize. But after several conversations recently i feel compelled to address the issue of complication overload.
If you are anything like me, this is something that sort of creeps up on you subtly. As you lunge head first into a new project or goal, it soon becomes a million smaller projects. Take for instance starting a diet. You want to lose weight so you decide to cut calories and eat healthier. This becomes a matter of planning your meals, counting the calories, getting groceries , preparing said meals and disciplining yourself not to over eat. Not too bad.Sounds simple, right?
However, at some point it can become more time consuming and complicated if we aren’t careful. We get an app, or several apps to track things.We start a notebook, then a journal. We begin writing our goals in calendar spaces. We portion out our meals and become rigid about when , where and even how we eat them.We turn down invitations to have dinner with friends because it conflicts with our meal plan.
After a bit, we see some progress and then we get”hungry” for more and more results. We decide we need to exercise. So we join a gym, subscribe to you tube channels, write down our work out plan, and pencil time frames for it into our appointment book. Next up comes the injuries, the nausea, the insomnia, the headaches, or maybe chronic fatigue. And we have to find ways to deal with THOSE. We become tired, irritable, and unable to focus on other aspects of our lives.
This , of course doesn’t just apply to health goals. It can happen with financial goals, our careers, parenting, or a project we are passionate about (putting an addition on the house, a wedding, growing a garden, writing a book, learning to cook, a creative endeavor). Almost anything can spiral out of control if we become obsessed with details and more details. We begin seeking perfection. We work ourselves to death, not realizing that being consumed with details can actually stall our progress and/or even reverse progress. What seemed like a great plan, has become so complicated or overwhelming that the original goal can never be realized. The initial plan to make our lives better is actually stealing our precious life away- and we are not enjoying it at all.
This , my friends, is complication overload.And it will set you up for failure.
We simply cannot control every aspect of things. We must allow for down time, making mistakes, set backs. We need to reign in obsession with detail by saying NO to stressful and/or frivolous actions.
After much thought on this subject, i realized that not everything with “think” is a goal , is actually a goal. First and foremost- a goal is something that has an end date– as in a planned time of completion or accomplishment. Some examples of what are not goals are:
Maintenance- things we do to improve or maintain a state of being.
Pass times- things we do that amuses us and makes time pass more enjoyably
Survival- things we do to survive – like striving to pay bills or raise our children
Of course any of these can over lap and are necessary at times, but none of them are actual goals. Additionally all are of value. Even animals maintain, pass time and survive. But animals generally follow instinctual patterns, where as humans have more tendency to follow emotional patterns.
The bottom line – take some time deciding if you actually have a goal, and the basic ( not intricately detailed )steps that will make it happen. Then stay on track , only deviating to navigate serious obstacles, and consistently put effort towards those basic steps. No additional items should be piled on our already full plate. Picture the waiter trying to bring a full platter of food to a specific table way across the room. If he or she is barely balancing the tray, but keeps stopping to add condiments, more silverware, napkins and other items, there is more likelihood of getting the food to the customer at a good temperature , on time, and without incident becomes less probable.
I personally have chosen to start eliminating a few items that have become too burdensome. Like tedious tracking of macros ( giving myself a little leeway) and expending too much energy trying to do ALL the exercises for that days body part every workout( just focus on 3-4 important ones) .Like saying no to taking on more responsibilities and solving crisis’ that are not my own( like trying to do everything for everybody just because i want to avoid confrontation or conflict ). I have become run down , irritable and frustrated.I have become more stressed, am more reactive, resentful and have less energy. And that is the opposite of what i set out to accomplish.
Time to regain some sanity, and lose some of those complications!
Namaste!
Wake up! 