Finding Your Puddle

Sure, puddles can be fun on occasion. Jumping and splashing as a child or a fun-loving adult comes to mind. Finding one at just the right time and place can certainly add to your enjoyment of life. But let’s be honest….

Some puddles are just obstacles and no fun at all.

Picture a deep puddle right outside your front door. Every day you know the puddle is going to be there. You have stepped in it more times than not as you rushed out and you have had enough.You have to make a choice as to how you are going to handle it. You know you have to run errands, get to your job, pick up the kids, etc. But you’re going to have to get past that puddle first.  It’s annoying, it’s frustrating, it’s maddening. “Why won’t the damn puddle just go away !” you might think.

When faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles we often forego real solutions and are tempted to find a way to avoid them. Some people stay in this state for months, years or all their lives- never able to move forward and reap the potential rewards available to them.

These obstacles may be related to debt, health, relationships, career/ job, family crisis, addiction or any number of other life challenging issues.But let’s break this down.

Most of the time the first reaction distress is unproductive. It is only human to feel anger, guilt, depression, anxiety, fear, or hopelessness. For the successful person, these are temporary reactions. But for others they can go unchecked, resulting in stunted growth, underdevelopment and/or contribute to life long mental health issues.

For any obstacle to be overcome action is required. But not just any action. For instance, yelling at our boss, accusing/ignoring our partner, covering debt with other debt (i.e. credit cards),substituting one addiction for another , or ignoring physical ailments will not further resolution but will in fact, exacerbate the problem. The action that is required is often the one least desired- measurable, tangible, productive and usually uncomfortable steps toward overcoming the source of our misery..

This is never easy and, in fact, it’s downright difficult. Some steps in the process will feel never ending.

There will be set backs as well and those can be even worse than the original problem in the sense that giving up during those times is intensely tempting. Giving up may feel like the only option. But I can tell you from experience- it is NOT. So what to do? Well, since i like analogies, let’s use puddles.Here are some of your choices:

 -You can choose to continue stepping in said puddle, getting a sense of frustration every time.

-You can try to jump over it, knowing that on some days you might get lucky and land just right.

-You can put on galoshes and walk through it- over and over and over- making the hole deeper and having to clean up your muddy boots on the regular.

-You can (and I am being silly here) use the window instead. Even though it’s a pain in the butt and may lead to injury.

-You can stay inside until the weather changes and hope it dries up…P.S.- it will come back as soon as it rains again.

 OR

You can work on fixing the problem once and for all. It might take some time, might require some help, may cost you some money, and you may get a bit dirty in the process. Filling the hole with appropriate material or building a bridge type ramp are options.  But in the end, walking out your front door will be much more pleasant and doable.

I use this analogy because I literally lived with a large puddle right beside my car, in a parking spot with no way of avoiding it. Since we were renting, it made no sense to spend the money necessary to fix it and the landlord wasn’t going to fork over the funds for repairs.

One day, after falling on my butt for the umpteenth time, I knew I had to make a decision. There were, of course, other problems with the property but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I buckled down, saved every penny and bought a home of my own -with a nice little ramp to the front door.I now have a much easier time with everything from getting to work on time to hauling in groceries.

Overcoming obstacles (of any kind ) is similarly fraught with hundreds of those puddles. Just when you think you have gotten past one, you will find yourself hurdling another. Sometimes you may get stuck in the same puddle for a long while. But with time, a solid plan, and persistent, viable action, your path will become clearer and less torturous to navigate.

Namaste!